I've never been clinically diagnosed with OCD, but I know I definitely have it. It all started when I was in the hospital at age 20 and the doctor thought I had ADD (that's what it was called 15 years ago). The doctor decided to put me on Adderall to help with the supposed ADD. Unfortunately, the Adderall not only didn't help, it caused me to start counting everything. I told my team that I was having issues with it and they took me off immediately, but my Counting OCD had started. And it's never stopped. It has become part of me. Although I will always say that I have OCD, I am not OCD.
I have had this for 15 years, which means that my brain never stops. I count all the time. Letters, numbers, sides of frames, the tv, every single thing you can imagine. I don't do any compulsions, but I do count and breathe a certain way until it feels "right" to me. That's one big reason why I know I must have OCD.
I manage. Like I said, it has become a part of me, and I just let it happen. I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to (which I do), but I've had it so long that it doesn't bother me too much anymore.
So, even though I've never been formally diagnosed with OCD, it is very real to me. I get through every day with counting going on in my mind every moment. Sometimes it's hard to pay attention because of the counting, but it is manageable.
My mind just goes. It sometimes takes me 3 hours to get to sleep because my brain just keeps going. But I can handle it, and I've gone on with life (and I live a great one!).
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