Blog Series Guest Post: 10 Things My Children With Depression Taught Me

Author: Michelle Belles 

Bio: I am Michelle the mom to three adult children, two of which suffer from mental illness. Our journey hasn't always been easy, but it's been more than worth it. My children are a blessing and a lesson. They have made me strong, kind, and courageous through their journey to a healthier, happier state of mind.

What do you do when you find out you're the mom of children who suffer from mental illness? You learn from it. 10 things my children with depression have taught me. 

1. 1. Depression is an illness, just like high blood pressure or the flu. You don't just shake it off, or man up. You have to have medical care. Therapy and medication. If you broke your leg you'd take pain medication and see a doctor to have your leg set and cast. With depression you get medication to help regulate the chemical imbalance in the brain and see a therapist to help reset your way of thinking. 
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3. 2. I am strong. It took the strength of Hercules to admit my youngest child into a long term care facility. Putting his needs first was easier said than done. Truly putting someone else first takes commitment; you have to think with your head and not your heart.
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5. 3. Prayer is power. When no one else has time for you and your problems God is always available and willing to listen. Worry about nothing, pray about everything. 
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7. 4. It is not my job to make my children happy. Happiness is a state of mind that they must choose for themselves. I can't give or buy them happiness, happiness is a mindset and way of life.
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9. 5. Cutting people out of your life is okay. If someone is negative and can't be supportive of your situation, let them go. Sometimes it will even be family members. Removing the negative makes more room for the positive.
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11. 6. “I don't know” is an acceptable answer. Not everyone can put a voice to their thoughts and feelings and sometimes you just don't know. 
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13. 7. Communication is a learned skill. Listening to someone talk without interpretation, giving them permission to speak freely, and giving honest feedback that makes them feel validated requires you to be 100% honesty no matter what and speaking facts not feelings.
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15. 8. Saying “F*ck it”, is okay. Sometimes things just get too overwhelming and there are no words that express how they’re truly feeling. Allowing them to say “f*ck it” gives them time to take a minute and reset. If any of my children drop the F bomb, I know it's time to give them space.
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17. 9. When one of my children says “let it go, mom” they really need me to just let it go. Harping on a subject doesn't make it better and sometimes they really are capable of handling things on their own. 
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19. 10. I'm the best mom I know how to be for them and that's enough. I am always available to listen when they need me, I support them even when I don't agree with them, and I keep my promises always. I love them unconditionally always.