Thank you, Janet!

Today is my last appointment with my therapist, Janet.  This is the thank you note I wrote her and am giving her today.

Dear Janet,

There just are no words for how much you have affected my life and how you've helped me to change and live well with my illnesses.  I will try to do my best to find words, though. 

Thank you doesn't seem like enough, but I will start there.  Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you for your listening heart, your words of wisdom, your advice about so many things.  Thank you for believing in me, for always finding the good in me.  Thank you for allowing me to yell, cry, use bad words, and get mad. 

You are the first and only therapist that I've ever stuck with for any real length of time.  I can't believe that I have been your client for 8 years!  The only reason for that is because you have cared about and helped me almost more than anyone ever has.

You are one of the most wonderful people I've ever met.  You are kind, caring, and funny.  

You totally "get" me, and only a couple people really get me.  Thank you for working with me for 8 years in order to "get" me.  

Thank you for helping me overcome my irrational thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes.  Thank you for helping me to realize that having Bipolar, Anxiety, and Borderline Personality Disorder are not things that are shameful, and do not define me as a person.  Thank you for getting me to the point where I don't have symptoms very much anymore, and when I do, I can handle them.  Thank you for getting me  to the place where I can help others and share my story of living well with mental illness.  You were the first person to actually help me to know that it was possible, and then you diligently helped me get there.  Thank you for giving me coping skills.  Thank you for being open when I asked you about being a lesbian yourself, and for sharing in Stacey's and my wedding day almost 6 years ago.  Without you, I would not have been able to be her wife and be in a relationship.

Just thank you for being you and for working with me and helping me all these years.  

I will keep emailing you every once in a while to keep you up-to-date on what is happening with us.  I hope that you enjoy retirement and do everything you've wanted to do all these years that you haven't been able to do because of work.

Thank you for being a big part of my life.  I will miss you so much.

Why I'm thankful for the Semicolon Project

My story isn't over yet.  

It's such a simple sentence, but yet it has so much meaning.  

For me, I'm so glad my story isn't over yet! I'm glad that I still get to experience life, after all of the suicide attempts I have made over the years. 

My first attempt was at the age of 14, and it landed me in a psychiatric hospital for a week. I got a diagnosis of Major Depression, left the hospital, and continued on with life.  

When I was 20 years old, living away from home for the first time, it all came crashing down.  I was suicidal and told the college counselor.  That landed me in a psychiatric hospital again, and I was in and out of hospitals for about 7 months.  

I tried to make it on my own.  I went back to school and got a job, but it was all just too much and I became depressed and suicidal again.  

This time, I shot myself.  Yes, you read that right,  I shot myself. 

I went to a group home for 2 years after that, and I was correctly diagnosed with Bipolar, Anxiety, and BPD.  I made lots of other attempts, but, to my happiness now, I survived.

Since June of 2006, I haven't attempted suicide again.

I met Stace and love our life together.  

I will wear this bracelet with pride that I have survived and am grateful for every single day now (even bad days).  

I couldn't have asked for a better life now!  My story truly isn't over yet.