Taking responsibility

(This is part of what I just posted on my facebook page, www.facebook.com/meganruns4mentalillness. Had to post some of it on here, but if you want the full version and info about tribal shaming, please visit my page.  Thanks!)

I am partly at fault for the way things are with my mother/ her family/ my dad and his family.  It's really interesting that I am now fully realizing this (and posting about it).  Yes, I was emotionally abused by my mother, but I also did things that I'm not proud of.  I have lied, embellished, gotten really angry, said things I should not have said (to family other than my mother, too), started fights, not treated my family members with respect, etc, etc.  I am not perfect and I really get it now.

I am not proud of the way I have behaved, although I have gotten a whole lot better, and it is quite painful to realize these things.  I never like to think about the negative things I have said or the horrible ways I have behaved, but I am thinking about them now. It's quite uncomfortable, but, yes, I have done these things.  And I am sorry for what I have done.

I chose to not talk with my family anymore, and I still stand by that.  There is a lot of stuff there.  But, I'm sure that they are glad that I don't talk with them anymore.  I am happy and healthy now, but I used to be a mess.  And that's the only way they knew me-as a mess.

I can't take back anything, but I CAN change and say that I'm sorry.  I know some of my family read this page, and if you are reading this, please know that I am sorry.  I am better now but I'm sorry for the things I did and said.