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Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Truly thankful

Yesterday I was at my new therapist's office (in her house), meeting her for only the second time.  I had been with my other, now retired, therapist for eight years.  I sat there telling this new person all about my life, what I've been through and how I'm recovering now.  She asked me questions to get me talking (not like I need help with that...I am quite the talker), going from topic to topic, and I readily told her anything she wanted to know.  She is getting to know me, after all. 

I realized in my sharing of the suicide attempts I've been through, the heart-wrenching anxiety that I've lived with for most of my life, and the depressions that I've gotten through, that I've been through quite a lot in my 35 years of life.  A whole lot.  Most people don't go through any of this stuff for their whole lives, and it's all happened to me.  

Then, I got thankful.  I realized that I have LIVED through everything.  I am indeed alive and thriving now.  Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I seem to get more thankful every year.  As I was telling Betsy about how my relationship with my wife got started, and all of the craziness that we've been through together, and about how many times I tried to break up with her in the beginning because of anxiety I wouldn't wish on anyone.  I realized that the thing I am most thankful for this year (and every day) is my amazing wife.  

She is my rock, my encourager, my best friend, my life partner, the other mother to our fur-kids, and the best person I know.  I am thankful that she stuck with me through so many things, and I'm thankful that hopefully we had most of our bad, strained moments in the beginning of our relationship, and now we know we can get through anything together.  I am thankful for our wonderful life, our amazing fur-sons who are the light of our lives, our little one-bedroom apartment, our health, our continued happiness, and the fact that I am doing so much better and living well with mental illness thanks to my wife.  On Thursday, and everyday, I have so much to be thankful for.

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